Tales From Tantamount: Almost June of the Year of the Sad Plastic Bag

Being an ongoing record of various Happenings, Unhappenings, Persons and Ephemera from the town of Tantamount, most often found along the river Severn, and therefore by nature occassionally Welsh.

KEEP CALM AND CARRION

 

Headlines in Tantamount, around the 1st June
The Tantamount Herald
Yearly quota of sunlight almost entirely used already, p4
Tantribune
Safety warnings put out for roaming packs of feral children, now released from school p3
The-Mind-That-Lives-In-The-Soil is stirring, p4-6
Tantamount Life
Big Cats form historical guild, claim they have been misrepresented p2

 Notice
This area, heretofore known as ‘the area’, is to be kept clear at all times. This is due to unpredictable manifestations. We recommend that, should strangely compelling food suddenly appear here, you do not eat it.
Tantamount District Council

Warning
Morris dancers sighted here. Take protective measures.

A discussion of the so-called Shadow Council, by Celeste Lupe Hildibjorgsdottir
Recent months have seen the abrupt emergence of a Shadow Council, complete with a re-spawned history and varied conspiracy theories. Although this in itself is not unusual for Tantamount, what is interesting is the secrecy. Most historical discoveries/tamings quickly become a matter of public record, and are just as quickly subsumed, unhappened, eaten or discarded. The Shadow Council, however, comes to us not through our vaunted historians but through scattered leaflets, whispered gossip and, most notably, the live blog of the recent elections (the writer of which has been permanently banned from the historian profession). So who, or what, is the Shadow Council?
There appears to be some connection with the Pinprick Cafe, and various whispers point to Thora Hope as a member. Thora Hope, as residents of Tantamount go, is remarkably interesting in that she is neither native, nor has she spent any time Out Of Town. She has made no comment on her supposed membership of the Shadow Council, and I was distracted from my questions by a truly excellent mocha. She also employs a chef, Laura Lovelace, who has spent time Out Of Town. Laura does not like to discuss it, and maintains that the outside was so confusing that it is barely comprehensible once returned.
But I have been sidetracked. It has been suggested that the Shadow Council are in direct opposition to the District Council, an idea which the District Council “oppose in the strongest terms, but in such a way as to not imply we really believe the Shadow Council to exist at all”. Perhaps an act of collective dreaming can highlight… From this point the essay has been heavily censored, with perhaps more vehemence than necessary, and the only other words that can be made out are hills, Hope, and reigniting.

Weather report
The weather today was a lowlevel growl, felt primarily in the base of the spine and tummy. It caused many people to believe they had a small animal living inside them (in some cases this was even true). Little showers of kindness fell throughout the day.

Notice
Tantamount is currently experiencing fluctuating levels of wilderness. Please take care when out in the wilderness, as it is easy to become lost in the depths of the within-without that is found there. We recommend you carry lucky charms, and try to avoid reflective surfaces. Instances of self-devouring have been linked to unsafe wilderness exposure, although equally many people return much happier than before, and with the added ability to sprout vines from interesting places.
Tantamount District Council

RE: Aquatic display
TO: management@pinprick.tan
FROM: lauralovelace@hotmail.tan

Dear Thora,
Please find attached the menu for the Aquatic Display night – I consulted with some nyads to make it a more authentic experience, and it actually works out cheaper for us. I’m not sure it will taste any good, but with the right marketing I think people will come anyway so that they can look good… Is it bad that I really hate some of our customers? You know, the bastards with all the money and entitlement?
Also, the Woman in the Well keeps leaving me these enigmatic little notes which I can’t quite read (they are too damp and the pen is smudged). I feel bad, because I have no idea what she is trying to say to me, but she puts so much effort in and always persuades the waitstaff to give me tips.
Hope you are recovered from the near miss with the Carrion the other day – so glad those magpies were on hand!

Best wishes,
Laura Lovelace
AntiviralBlessing.doc
AquaDisplayMenu.doc

Lost Extremely sentimental scrying mirror, used for nostalgic memory-viewing. Reward offered! Eurydice xxxxx 872365


Keep Tantamount caffeinated! Buy the author a drink! Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

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