Poem: Strictly Sexual by Meredith Debonnaire

This one has swear words! And use of the word “fag”! And it’s a bit old! But generally alright I think! This putting poems up thing is worrying… For best experience, read this one out loud in an increasingly angry voice.

My relationship with politics is strictly sexual because politics insists on getting in my bed/My relationship with politics is purely personal though politics will not admit to half the things that it has said/Politics is not a healthy bedfellow/Politics is not a brilliant fuck/But my relationship with politics is sexual, because politics won’t leave my life even though we’ve broken up/

Politics is my dirty little secret and I grind my teeth when it grandstands against itself/Politics insists that it can shake hands with clenched fists/Politics pretends it’s sitting on a shelf/Politics I don’t mind that you’re into bondage/Though I wish that you would wait for my consent/I enjoy a bit of submission but you don’t have my permission to make converting me a mission/On making me heteronormal you seem hellbent/

Don’t tell me not to be emotionally entangled/’Cause you bribe me with one hand and with the other hand you strangled/All the opposition/It’s an indecent proposition/To use my body as a moral battleground/

We may be fucking, politics, but you do not own my cunt/And it’s obscene of you to think that you can take just what you want/No I won’t give up my career though you’ve made it completely clear that empowered women are not welcomed here/

My relationship with politics is sexual/Because politics has politicised my sex/Your laws creep into my bed/Your attitudes pollute my head/Oh politics I think you’d rather I was dead/Politics I’d love to see you naked/Politics I’d love to see you pure/But so long as I’m bisexual and we’re keeping this contextual then all you’ve got is a dark allure/

My relationship with politics is strictly sexual/Oh yes politics remains my dirty shag/Politics would like to keep/Our shenanigans a secret/Just in case anyone calls politics a fag/Politics you are a fickle lover/You’ll say anything to obtain my vote/But all your promises crumble and your fingers fumble/As you hold onto your power and you gloat/Politics it seems we’re tied together/So let me make sure that this is understood/Our relationship is rotten and you seem to have forgotten/That I would gladly leave you if I could//

 Thoughts? Feedback? Slightly unrelated musings? Do let me know 🙂
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Book Review: The Invasion of the Tearling by Erika Johansen

the invasion of the tearling erika johansen

The second Mort invasion had all the makings of a slaughter.


This, you may have guessed, is the sequel to The Queen of the Tearling. And it is amazing! One of the main points about the fantasy world that has been created here is that, although it looks pretty typical human high fantasy at first glance, it is revealed throughout the first book that actually, these people are descended from fugitives from our world. Or our world some years forward with horribly believable dystopian trappings. A revolutionary called William Tear led the Crossing (what they were crossing is a reveal in this book, so I’m not telling).

This means that the Tearling (and presumably other kingdoms and queendoms) has this interesting juxtaposition of technologically being about able to make a basic cannon, but having historical records of x-ray machines. I love it. This book really deals with that part of the story, as Kelsea starts having visions of a woman who is somehow connected to the Crossing. At first, I was a little impatient with these flashbacks as I just wanted to know what was going to happen: Mortmesne is invading! We’re getting clues about who the Red Queen is! Please just tell me what’s happening! However, after a slightly awkward section I quickly became hooked, and it started becoming clear that the flashbacks were important and also forwarding the plot.

Kelsea herself I found challenging in this instalment, but nowhere near as challenging as a lot of teenage sovereigns in fantasy can be. And I think I was meant to find her challenging, and to question her judgement and her decisions. Other characters certainly did. I loved the intrigue, the back and forth between church and crown intensifying, the preparations for this totally hopeless invasion, Kelsea’s weird magical powers starting to make more sense…

The end was, well, I had a hunch about the ending. And I was half-right. And it was a massive cliffhanger (Kelsea you redeemed yourself bigtime) and I have been waiting on tenterhooks for the final book to come into the library (which it finally has). So, if you are interested in some slightly brutal, fast-paced, interestingly-built fantasy with WOMEN, I recommend this series.

And if you have read it, I would love to chat about it with you! I have so many feelings about this series!

Rating: read this book – do not make deals with the demon in the fire.

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Book Review: The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen

The Queen of the Tearling

Kelsea Glynn sat very still, watching the troop approach her homestead.

I picked this up thinking “Oh this seems like a reasonably straightforward, returning sovereign type fantasy thing”. I was very happy to be proved wrong! It begins much in the ‘returning-sovereign-will-save-the-land’ vein, in a seemingly high fantasy world with the rightful heir to the throne (Kelsea Glynn) having been raised in a cottage in a wood somewhere by Carlin and Barty Glynn. A troop of soldiers arrive to take her to New London to be crowned, and then… Well, then everything flies wonderfully off the hook. Not so abruptly that it’s jarring; but we slowly realise that no, this is not a typical high fantasy story. It doesn’t actually look as though Kelsea is even going to make it as far as New London, let alone get crowned, because the Regent (her uncle) has formed an alliance with the Tearling’s scary neighbour (Mortmesne) and is sending assassins after her. There are killer hawks! There are guild assassins and bits of magic and a sort of highwayman bandit type who might be helpful.

Kelsea is also realising that she has been consistently lied to about, well, something… She does not know what. And that she is lacking a lot of experience and knowledge. And that her guards are lying to her as well. She’s a fantastically tenacious protagonist, who starts out with a good knowledge base but little experience and then learns really fast because it’s learn or die and Kelsea has decided that she’s not going to die before she even gets to her throne. The scene when she does finally get crowned is exhilarating and the story doesn’t end there!

The worldbuilding is also excellent – I could babble about it for hours. I’m going to avoid that though (because spoilers) and just say that it’s one of the most interesting fantasy set-ups I’ve seen in a while. The politics all weave together with the history and the brutality of feudal-ish lifestyles and the tension between the state and the church. Excellent, so excellent. A fantastic story about a new ruler coming into power, set against a brilliantly conceived world – I am eagerly waiting for the sequel to come back to the library.

Rating: read this book. Aim to be half as hardcore as Kelsea Glynn.

And then, radio silence

Hello all. Yes it has been an absolute age since I’ve been on here at all. I assure you that I am in fact alive and semi-functioning. It’s just that recently, I have been feeling a bit like this:

Sue White and Alan StathamSo, as you can imagine, it’s been challenging even thinking about posting anything. But I’m back, at least temporarily. Hopefully I’ll have some reviews for you soon – I’ve been reading non-fiction books! My goodness, what a shock *fans self* perhaps I should lie down until this phase passes and I’m safely back to fantasy?

I even read history books, which was actually counterproductive to me learning about history because generally history makes me so angry that I end up yelling and throwing things about. As far as I can tell, all anyone bothers writing about is years and years of rich bastards prancing around on horses with falcons or something while everyone else starves/goes to war/has a generally shit time. I’m trying desperately to find history that is about normal people, but as writing was for a long time restricted to people who had enough money and time to learn it (because they weren’t desperately trying to grow enough food to not die or something similar) that is really hard because there just aren’t many records to go on. Besides, politics now is shit enough without having to read about hundreds of years of people in suits/crowns/robes getting to make decisions that affect everyone without input from the people who have to live with those decisions. Pah!

And thus ends my accidental rant… Book reviews soon!


P.S the image is from a show called GreenWing, which is a fantastic comedy set in a hospital ward. Watch it.